I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
