what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
