His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
