Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize