You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
