Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
