I just pynch a tree in the face
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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