Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
