Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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