your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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