hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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