theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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