Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
