have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
