they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
