His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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