i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
