Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
