Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
