Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
