If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
