you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
