so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
