I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
