You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
