It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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