white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
