we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
