okay pat passed out under dana's car
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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