i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
