Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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