These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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