Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
