we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
