alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
