Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
