i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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