**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize