Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
