I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
