He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
