Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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