Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
