If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize