Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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