hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
