Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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