It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
