Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
