she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
