My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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