And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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