He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
