Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize