i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
