I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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