im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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