he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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