Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
