sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
