He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
