I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize