Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
