My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
