My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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