I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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